Day 16-17 (4/16-4/17)
So glad to hear my cousin’s doing well and so’s Owen. It’s crazy the amount of happiness a baby can bring. Everytime I look at David, a baby my mom’s been babysitting, I can’t help but see the future Kevin and I talked about. And everytime I do, I can’t help but wonder if I made the right decision. I really do hope fate brings us back together. If not, he will always be my first love. And Tuesday’s ASL class will be dedicated to him. Took my siblings and niece to Shave It. Couldn’t eat cuz my throat was still sore. And I was reminiscing about all the times he and I “ran errands,” but went to get boba or food at the same time.
I’m crying myself to sleep. Talking to guy friends isn’t the same as talking to your love. I can’t help but feel like I’m using them to make myself feel better. On a less sad note, I was able to go home an hour and a half earlier. But what’s the point if no one talks to me…
Day 14-15 (4/15-4-15)
Mondays are always long. So glad I had nothing to study for…but next week..oh boy. Went out to take environmental photographs, but that was harder than I expected. Found out my cousin’s planned pregnancy date is tomorrow. So excited. Another baby and this time, it’s a boy. I hope this boy doesn’t grow up to be a lame - ass player or one that breaks hearts. I hope he’s a gentleman and works hard. Can’t wait to see you and hold you for the first time Owen!
I have little motivation to go to school. Religion 381 is whatever. Professor just babbles the entire time. Current Issues in Marine Bio is so depressing. Those poor animals…Photography isn’t what I expected. I wish he would help us work on our technique instead of giving us all these lame projects. My favorite one’s been the Portrait project. My parents look so serene and yet, you could see sadness in their eyes. I’m so scared of ever losing them. Period started. Guess that’s great cuz it means I’m not pregnant. But these fucking cramps. God!!! So glad I kept some advil in the car. Wouldn’t have made it through the day if I didn’t. And finally sign language. As I was signing that I broke up with Kevin, my eyes were tearing up. Professor said I’d find the right guy someday so I shouldn’t worry about it. I hope he’s right. Came home to find out my cousin’s in the hospital for an induced pregancy. I hope she and Owen will be okay.
"There’s always that one person that you’ve had feelings for since the moment you first met them."